Plan · Once things are stable
With the day-to-day handled, build the complete picture of assets, liabilities, income, and insurance — because every care decision ahead is really a question about what they have and what it must cover.
Complete the financial picture
Work with whoever holds the power of attorney. The Assets & Liabilities page is the worksheet; this checklist is how you fill it.
Inventory every asset
Why it matters: Care decisions depend on what exists: accounts, investments, property, and policies with cash value.
- Sources: the tax return (best), statements, the mail over a full quarter, and the accountant/advisor if one exists.
- For each asset record institution, account type, approximate value, and whose name it's in (theirs, the spouse's, joint) — titling drives both POA authority and Medicaid math.
- Include the easily-missed: savings bonds, CDs at a second bank, life-insurance cash value, safe-deposit contents, and unclaimed property (search the state's unclaimed-property site).
Inventory every liability
Why it matters: The other half of the balance sheet: mortgage, loans, cards, and medical bills in progress.
- With POA, pull their credit reports at annualcreditreport.com — the reports list every open credit account and are the fastest way to find debts you've missed.
- Record balance, payment, rate, and whether it's secured (house, car) or unsecured.
- Flag anything in collections for a hardship/validation conversation before paying.
Map all income and where it lands
Why it matters: Monthly income is the number every care conversation starts with: Social Security + pension + annuities + investment income.
- Identify each income source, its monthly amount, and which account it's deposited to.
- Note income that has rules: RMDs from IRAs (required annually after age 73 — missing one has penalties; ask the accountant), annuity payout terms, pension survivor benefits.
- Record what happens to each income stream if they pass away — survivor pensions and Social Security survivor benefits change the spouse's picture entirely.
Catalog insurance — especially long-term care
Why it matters: An LTC policy, veterans benefits, or the right Medicare setup can change the care budget by thousands a month.
- List every policy: health (Medicare + Medigap/Advantage, Part D), long-term care, life (with cash value?), homeowners, auto.
- If an LTC policy exists, call about starting a claim now — most have a 60–100-day "elimination period" clock that only starts when covered care begins.
- If they ever served in the military, check VA Aid & Attendance eligibility — a widely-missed benefit for wartime veterans and surviving spouses.
Plan the care — with numbers
Price the realistic care options
Why it matters: Home care, assisted living, memory care, and skilled nursing differ by thousands per month. The plan is: (income + insurance + assets) vs. (monthly cost × realistic duration).
- Get the case manager's recommended level of care in writing, then price 2–3 real facilities or home-care agencies.
- Ask each facility the questions in the care-facility script — especially what happens when private funds run out.
- Build the simple math: monthly income minus monthly care cost = monthly burn; assets ÷ burn = runway in months.
Understand Medicaid before you need it
Why it matters: If care may outlast the assets, Medicaid rules — including the 5-year lookback on gifts and transfers — should shape financial moves starting now. Well-meaning transfers can create penalty periods.
- Talk to an elder-law attorney about Medicaid planning in their state, especially spousal-protection rules ("community spouse" allowances protect the healthy spouse's house and income).
- Don't gift, retitle, or "protect" assets before that conversation — the lookback punishes exactly those moves.
- Keep every financial record from here on — a Medicaid application will ask for up to 5 years of statements, which you're already collecting.
Set up the spouse's support system
Why it matters: A spouse facing health or memory challenges of their own is both a co-decision-maker and someone who needs protection too. Their finances are one household picture.
- Ensure the spouse has their own POA, healthcare proxy, and will while they have capacity — the same emergency can strike twice.
- Simplify their daily money: one card with a modest limit, alerts to a family member, big accounts out of easy reach of phone scammers.
- Get a cognitive evaluation documented — it matters for their care planning and for protecting them legally.
Write it down and align the family
Why it matters: Money + stress + siblings is a combustible mix. A shared, written picture prevents both conflict and duplicated work.
- Share the Steady Dignity picture (bills handled, balance sheet, care plan math) with the family on a regular rhythm.
- Document decisions and who agreed — especially anything involving their money and any reimbursements.
- Agree on roles: who pays bills, who talks to doctors, who talks to facilities, who backs up whom.
Build the go-forward system
Why it matters: This started as an emergency; it becomes a long-term stewardship. The goal is a system any family member could pick up — never again a single point of failure.
- Consolidate where safe: fewer accounts, e-statements to a monitored email, autopay for the stable bills.
- Keep this app current: bills, balance sheet, and notes — it is the shared brain.
- Revisit quarterly: care costs, runway, and whether the legal documents still match reality.
Do this together, with the free app
Steady Dignity turns these guides into a shared family workspace: guided checklists, an AI-drafted bill inventory from photographed statements, call scripts filled in with your family's names, and roles so relatives can help without seeing more than they should. Free — no ads, no selling your data.
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